It hurts to tie my shoes and brush my hair.

So it was raining today.

Normally, that wouldn’t be so terrible, except it was also windy, and that is THE WORST COMBINATION EVER.

Aside from the fact that my soaking wet umbrella was stuck in my car door this morning, and when I yanked on it to get it un-stuck, it smacked me directly in the face (good times), today’s weather also presented some other issues.

I was trying SO hard to walk back to my car after class as quickly as possible because there are only so many times I can deal with my umbrella turning inside out and my hood flying off in one day. Seriously.

Unfortunately, as hard as I tried, I couldn’t walk fast. I couldn’t even walk slow. I could mostly just drag myself along, limping a little. And the whole time, I was thinking, “It would be so great if someone would just carry me everywhere today. Could we talk to Lester Lefton and arrange that?”

I didn’t feel this way at all yesterday! Yesterday, I felt great!! It was 60 degrees, and so close to balmy Ohio spring weather that I dared to not wear a coat for the whole day and even open my windows in the apartment and my car. It was a risk because you never know when a sudden snow storm is going to strike, but I think it was one worth taking.

I even went for a walk, bought a wild berry lemonade, actually took out all of the trash sitting in our apartment that we never acknowledge because that means we have to walk to the other side of the parking lot in a blizzard and, seriously, no thanks, and took a three and a half hour pre-professional dance workshop!

Don’t worry about the fact that I’m only dancing twice a week now and haven’t done any pre-professional level dancing since two years ago……wait a minute! Do you think that’s the reason I was in so much pain trying to put my socks on this morning?

In all seriousness, these dance classes kicked my butt.

The workshop started with two back-to-back classes. It began at 10 a.m. and ended at 12:15 p.m. Then, there was an hour break for lunch, and the final class started at 1:15 and ended around 2:30. The classes consisted of different styles of hip hop.

The first class was street hip hop (It’s okay to laugh picturing me attempting that.) Then, there was a jazzy, feminine type of hip hop for the second class. The third class was my all-time favorite: lyrical hip hop. Mostly because lyrical is my favorite style of dance.

During each class, we did a brief warm-up and learned a minute-long combination. That doesn’t sound so bad, right? Except that after we learned the minute-long combo, we ran it again. and again. and again. and again. In big groups. In small groups. In groups of three. In pairs. Forwards. Backwards. On one leg. Blindfolded. While being whipped with a leather belt. Just kidding about those last ones! …kind of.

However, despite all of the PURE AGONY I’m experiencing today if I do anything besides lie perfectly still on a soft, pillowy surface, it was totally worth it just to experience the joy of dancing that I’ve been missing lately more than I even realized.

I am taking two technique classes this semester, but it’s not quite the same. The technical aspect of dancing is important so you can become the best you can be. It’s just like conditioning for sports. At the same time, sometimes the passion can get lost behind the structure and routine of just practicing strength and flexibility exercises. I think it’s pretty much the same for anything else. The hard work can get in the way of how much you love it, but you have to push through and work hard for the things you really love.

Sometimes (all the time), I miss the way I used to be able to do so many different styles of dance every day in high school, learn routines and perform them. However, there’s no way that would ever work with my insane college schedule/life. A lot of times, you just have to accept that even though you love something with your whole heart, you don’t have the time or the opportunity to focus on it as much as you would like. Sometimes, your life has a different plan for you! And that’s exciting and totally okay.

During the lyrical hip-hop portion, we learned a combination to a song about the heartbreak that comes from experiencing someone you love leaving you for someone else. At the end, we performed it in small groups for each other. The instructor explained that most of us have had an experience like that and asked us how it made us feel. When we replied, she said, “Show me. I should be able to understand your story and feel exactly what you’re feeling by watching you dance.”

You guys. I wanted to cry, not because I was remembering a time when I was heartbroken (I have very little experience in the whole dating area), but because I miss being able to dance like that, and it reminded me!

It’s such an awesome way to just let go. Sometimes, I can’t even remember anything after I’m finished dancing because I was so focused on that moment. I think there are lots of different passions like that. Can you relate?

I think what she said is awesome advice, because ultimately, you want your passion to transfer to the people around you. Even if they don’t feel the same way about that certain thing, you want to make them completely understand the way you feel.

Today, however, I want to cry for other reasons related to my muscles. I mean, I think I’m in pretty good shape. I try to hit the gym most days. It was just….super intense. But being sore is a good thing, because it means that you worked hard? ……right? That’s what I tell myself.

I am at starbucks working on soooooo much homework, which contrary to dancing, I do not actually have much of a passion for. In the long run, it’ll be worth it though…..right? That’s also what I tell myself. I should probably get back to that…..

I hope you’re having an awesome week! I would encourage everyone to refuel something they have a passion for, even if you don’t have the chance to focus on it as much as you would like. It can be a huge release and bring you a lot of peace when you’re under an enormous mountain of stress to do something that you absolutely love. And if you get nothing else out of it, perhaps everything around you will fade away and you will only be focused on that moment, however long or short, which is one of the best places to be.


Writing Playlist:
The funky music of Starbucks


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