One of our activities in youth group back in high school was to write a letter to ourselves from God.
We were supposed to think about what God would say to us at that moment in our lives and write as if He were sending us a letter. It was surprisingly more difficult than I could imagine, especially at a point in my life when I had so much going on. I was getting ready to leave for college, trying to plan ahead for my future, attempting to muster what little motivation I had left to finish studying for my final exams and preparing to leave home for the first time – all while feeling the looming weight of this ever-approaching “real world” people were constantly talking about. I still had no clue what I was in for.
The unknown can be a scary place sometimes, but I’ve found it is many times the best place.
Even now that I’m in the “real world,” I wake up most days feeling like there is a lot of unknown still to discover. I have to admit I would find this task of writing a letter from God to myself just as difficult now. I’m totally incapable of thinking of myself the way God does without making a conscious effort, and I’m reminded of that every day.
I remember putting it off for several days, and then one day as I was reading a devotional, everything that needed to be said (or written) suddenly flooded into my mind. I couldn’t write fast enough.
After I was finished, I could barely remember what I had actually written. I was so caught up in it that I wasn’t even thinking about it anymore. Two hours had passed in what felt like five minutes.
I vividly remember reading the letter back after I finished writing it and tears filling my eyes, because it was exactly what I needed to hear. I truly believe with every facet of my being those words were not my own, but they came from God to me at a moment in my life when I needed them most.
Occasionally, when I need to be reminded of who I am and how God thinks of me, I reread the letter.
I don’t know where you are on your journey with God, but I pray that maybe these words give you the same hope, joy and peace they did for me in a season of waiting for so much uncertainty to unfold – a season of life that I don’t think ever really ends.
Here is what God had to say to me then, and continues to remind me every day that I forget:
Weary and broken down from the weight of life, from attempting to please so many and managing to please so few, from hiding behind who I pretend to be, from pretending to have it all figured out – to have it all together – but so frequently feeling the familiar sting of failure, defeat, disappointment. Frustrated and angry and upset with myself. Feeling worthless. Feeling invisible.